Innovate Your Listening Skills

people talking in parisWhen you are engaged in a conversation, do you ever find yourself ahead of yourself and not really listening completely, and in your mind formulating what you are going to say next?  I used the word engaged in the sentence above, but if you are not fully listening to the person in front of you, you are not truly engaged in the conversation.  I used to do this quite a bit and have missed out on deeper conversations, if only I had listened with full attention.

So how could you innovate your listening skills?

Well, this post is about how I changed the way my mind works during a conversation, or when someone is talking with me.

In a great conversation, it should be a two way interaction between two minds without the interferences of the person who is listening to formulate an answer or wander off mentally when being spoken to.  It is hard for me to really slow it down and give the person my full attention before, because I had the habit of wanting to give my input before really listening to the other person's perspective and taking it in.  Once, I changed the way I interact with others, I am now able to have much more meaningful discussions and it is funny when people tell me that I am such a great listener.

So what are the benefits of listening to others anyways?

Well for one, you might gain new knowledge or see things from a different angle.  Remember, you only know what you know and the way you think could be totally different than how others think.  Allowing others to give their perspective on things and sharing their knowledge on whatever it is that you are talking about, you might gain a new way of looking at things that you might have missed or learn something new.  Now you really don't lose anything by allowing the other person to have their say, you still have your opinions and thoughts about the topic at the time, but you get different perspectives.

Another benefit is that you will give yourself the opportunity to really connect with them and being the ear to take in what another wants to communicate.  Sometimes, I wait until the other person asks me for my opinion and by listening with full engagement, the other person asking for your perspective seems to listen to what you have to say much more than trying to force your opinions.  Before when I used to give an answer before the person even finished their thought process, the conversations did not go as deeply as when I changed my listening habits to allow the other person to talk.  I learned more, and also connected with the person on a much deeper level.  By listening, the other person is much more interested in hearing what you have to say.  So the effect is quite amazing versus trying to force your thoughts, you allow a productive dialogue where the other person feels that you truly listened and understand them, and when you give this to the other person, they will respect what you have to say much more because you have listened and understand what they were trying to communicate.

So How Can You Innovate the way you Listen?

  • Questions: When asking a question, allow the other person time to think it through and answer.  We all hate the silent moments in conversations and some people really think about the question you asked and might need a little time to think before speaking.  Allow this time and wait for the other to speak.  I used to have the bad habit of shooting off one question after another or even worse answer for them to where their response turns into yes or no answers, resulting in an unproductive and less meaningful conversation.
  • Think: When the person you are talking to says anything, put some thought into it before you give your answer or wait for them to ask about your opinion on what they had to say.
  • Ask: Ask more questions about what the other just said to get a better understanding.  This is an active listener skill, and advanced communication skill that seeks to understand the other completely.  This also shows the other that you want to understand them and have listened to them up to that point.
  • Listen: Make it a point to be fully engaged in what the other person has to say.  Don't look around them, think of an answer as they are speaking or think about what you want to say.  Be in the moment and give full attention to what the other person has to say.
  • Take Notes: If you ask someone for their opinion or advice on something, an active listener will take notes to remember what the other person has said.  Note taking shows active listening, but don't over do it and have the note taking take away from you listening.
  • Confirm:  Give confirming gestures and remarks as the other person speaks.  Ask them to elaborate more, dig deeper and let them know you are listening.  A great way to show this by nodding your head or say, "so what you are saying is this..." to ensure that you understand what the other is trying to communicate to you.

Erin and JeffChanging the way you communicate takes an active role on your part but you can implement it immediately with the next person you talk to.  Give some of these tactics a try, shut your mouth and open your ears... both of them and see how your interactions become much more meaningful and engaging.

How to Find & Discover your Passion(s)

Myst telescopeMany conversations I have with people regarding personal innovation and development usually deals with an individuals personal passion for something.  I usually ask, what their passion is.  A majority of people simply don't know or state that they are still searching for it.  I feel that every one of us not only has a singular passion but like a smart phone we have multiple passions, somewhat like apps and we pick and choose the different passion apps to apply to our lives.  I wanted to discover why some people don't know what their passion is and why some continue to seek their passions even as years pass by and I ask the question again, yet get the same answer.  Below is the result of multiple interviews with people I have had discussion with about this very topic and how to find and discover your passion(s).

Before I begin my bullet pointed list, I have learned that some people limit their belief that they can have multiple passions in their lives.  Somewhere along the way in their life, they have the notion that to have passion for something, it should only be a singular focus.  Do you or have you felt this way?  In reality we actually have multiple things that we love to do and could develop a passion for.  I feel that when we limit ourselves to the notion that we are only constricted to one or two passions we could have, we freeze our spirit and minds up to really give claim to our passions in our life.  For example, I have a passion for photography, writing, selling, traveling and eating good food.  I have tried many different things and could say I am good at each one of those I have selected, but by experimenting in different activities, I discovered if I truly enjoyed doing the activity or realized that I had no passion for it.  For example,  I was always fascinated with oil paintings and wanted to be able to create a masterpiece myself, so I went out and got myself an oil painting set, canvas and book.  I gave it a try for about 3 months and as I was learning and actually doing the paintings, I came to realize that I was not really into it and you can say, I didn't have a passion for it, yet I have an appreciation for viewing oil paintings.  So the next time someone asks you, "what are you passionate about", you can give them more than one answer.

Here are some ways to help you discover your passions:

  • Enjoy Talking About: What is it that you enjoy talking about?  If someone brings up a certain topic, do your ears perk up and you pay full attention?  If you ask questions after questions with the undying need to learn more, then maybe this is something you could be passionate about.
  • Enjoying the Research: If you catch yourself enjoying the time spent learning and researching an activity and the time seems to just pass by, then this might also be a candidate as a passion.
  • Feeling Good: Pay attention to your feelings, if you feel good when you do something, this is a personal enjoyment that a particular activity fulfills within your own needs.
  • Experiment: Be open to trying different things and experiencing different activities to see if something catches you.  Passion will be natural and you will feel a calm joy or at times extreme joy when doing that particular activity.  Unless you try different things, you will never realize the different passions you just might have.
  • Let Passion Find You: Sometimes we don't have to even go out and actively look for our passions, it will come naturally and sometimes even come to you.  Just be aware of your feelings and to accept the different levels of joy you could have.
  • What you do during your free time: What do you usually do when you have free time and choose to do?  These might be your passion(s), it could be something as simple as reading books to watching clouds, each individual has something that brings them joy.  It does not have to be something that will bring you an income, that is what a career will do, but a passion for something deals with your emotions and feelings, so don't just limit it within the same bucket as a job/career.
  • Step out of your comfort zone: Do something different, do something that scares the heck out of you, be open minded and discover the hidden wonders of the world and see if the passion bug grabs onto you.
  • You Can't wait to do it again: If once you finish something you are passionate about and you have to stop, you look forward to doing it again.  This is passion.
  • Gives you energy: If you are not passionate about something, usually you will need to really self motivate yourself to get up and do it, but if you have passion for something, you will willingly do it and even if you had lack of sleep the night before, you will gain the natural energy to just keep going, this is the natural high that a passion brings to your spirit.
  • Get Better: When you are passionate about something, you tend to want to improve and get better at doing it, you are thirsty for more information and discovering a new trick or way of doing it better brings you even more joy.
  • Write a Passion Journal: When you get the great feeling of joy when doing something, keep a simply passion journal and document how you felt and what you did.  If you continue to keep writing the same things over and over again, guess what, there is your passion.  Writing it down always helps me recall multiple emotions and thoughts over time and over time as things combine, you could get a really good picture of what you are passionate about.

?If these tips don't help and you still find yourself seeking, then maybe it is the search that you are passionate about.  You are looking for that extreme rush of joy that you think you might obtain and ignoring the joys of certain activities because it didn't bring a certain emotion you were expecting to have.  Writing to many people could be an absolute bore but to me, I simply love writing.  If you have any type of joy or happy feeling when doing something, maybe you need to take more time to develop the needed skills or talents to really appreciate the art behind what you are doing to claim that you are passionate about it.

Remember, passion for something can and will change over time. i am sure some of us enjoyed playing with toys when we were younger but grew out of it and discovered new passions.  As we age we are still growing and developing as we move into each year with new understanding and wisdom that life brings.  Your passions might change, accept this natural change and embrace the new passions that come your way.  Some things stay with you forever, and these are the deep passions that took root within you.

Subscribe to RSS by eMail and you might Win

I Love YouEvery month, I select a new book to read as well as an audio book that usually has to do with personal development and provide my personal review.  I wanted to thank my RSS eMail subscribers by automatically entering them in a monthly contest to win the monthly book & audio book I read and listen to.  The products are of course used, because I personally read them and listened to them, so I give no guarantee as to the condition, but I will do my best to keep them in good condition.  I will pay for the shipping/handling within the United States.  If you are an international subscriber, I will give you the option of paying for half of the shipping fees.

No purchase necessary and all you need to do is be an active subscriber on my eMail RSS powered by Feedburner.  You will get all of my posts sent directly to your email inbox whenever I post and will not share, lease, rent or have anyone peek at your email!  You will also be automatically subscribed to my monthly newsletter that is only sent once a month with the option to unsubscribe.  You only need to be an active RSS eMail subscriber to have a chance to win. A total of two winners will be randomly selected per month.  One for the book and one for the audio book.

Winners (2) will be selected each month and if you didn't win, you will automatically be entered in the next month's drawing and even if you win, you still have a chance to win again and again because I will literally throw your email back in the hat to select from for future monthly drawings.

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August Picks: Richest Man in Babylon & Secrets of Great Rainmakers

richestmaninbabylon

For this month, I have selected, "The Richest Man In Babylon" by George S. Clason as my book choice for August 2010.  I have a full lineup scheduled with school as well as work so I had to select a slim book that I could finish.

It is important to make time for yourself and to give your mind a break and enjoyment by giving it some quality recreational reading.  I love reading and it is fun when I don't "have" to read but choose to read.

Many people have suggested this book to me many times and I have purchased it in the past, but will finish this book by end of month August 2010 and give my review on September 1st, 2010.

My audio book selection for this month is the, "Secrets of Great Rainmakers", by Jeffrey J. Fox.  I listened and also read his previous book, How to become a rainmaker and loved the quick nuggets of information that gives me reminders on how to be successful and provides me with best practices when I go about my day to day activities and how I interact with people.  I will give my review on this audiobook on September 1st, 2010 as well.  To learn more about each of these products check out the links below:

The Richest Man in Babylon: George S. Clason's Bestselling Guide to Financial Success: Saving Money and Putting it to Work for You

Secrets of the Great Rainmakers: The Keys to Success and Wealth


***I have been thinking about the books and audio books I have been buying for each month and would like to start giving them away to people who are subscribers on my rss feed.  This way, my bookshelf will not be overflowing with books and will maintain my organized uncluttered home.  I will post an update announcing this and will give away the products I read/listen to each month for free and select randomly from my list of subscribers.  If you have not subscribed to my blog yet, do so by signing up on the right sidebar.  Thank you.

Innovate the way you Network

networking tips

Networking meetings is a perfect time for you to not only gain valuable information from attending the sessions, but a perfect place to reach out to others with similar interests and connect.

I have gone to many networking meeting to observe how some are master networkers that knows the small as well as key actions needed to get the most of the event, while others walk away with only an earful of information, promotional products and a bunch of brochures.

If you are going to take the time and money to attend these meetings, make the most of them and be ready to network and connect with others.  I have asked many successful business professionals to share their networking best practices and have listed them below:

  • Get out of your comfort zone: When we go to events where there are a lot of new faces and personalities, it is natural for us to seek comfort by things familiar to us, so we go on the hunt for familiar faces.  Sometimes, we go out of our way to look for people we know already and might even send them a text to find out where they are.  Now nothing is wrong with maintaining a contact, but if you spend the majority of your time with the people you already know, then your circle of network will pretty much stay the same.  By forcing yourself to get out of your comfort zone and seek out new faces to introduce yourself to, you might make a lasting connection.  A good tip is to find someone not talking to someone or simply say to people, hi.  Nothing fancy and no liners like a cheesy pickup line.

Business Cards: A general practice at networking events is the exchange of business cards.  I have encountered some people who have ran out and had to write on a back of someone else's card.  This does not give a professional impression so be sure to have a full stock of business cards ready to hand out.

Position Yourself:  The best times to meet people is right before a session starts and immediately following.  Stand by the door before the session starts, and say hi as people walk by.  If needed, save your seat by hanging your coat or belonging to save your spot.  I see people quietly sneaking in after a speaker starts and not only is it rude, but you also lose the opportunity to meet new people and talk about the upcoming speaker or event.  You will also want to stay back once the session is over as well to interact with others and get their thoughts on the session.

Get Involved: The more involved you are with the program, the more people you will interact with and gain more from the event.  Volunteer as a member of a panel or ask to be a guHuman highwayest speaker.

Listen: We all love to talk about ourselves and what we are, but try and be a good listener and give full attention to the person in front of you.  Don't let your eyes wander to see who else is around, give full attention to the person you are talking to and ask lots of questions about their most favorite subject, themselves and you will have them chatting it up.

Use their name: When talking with someone the best way to remember their name is by using their name multiple times during the conversation.  Try to remember names and when you run across them during the event, say hi and impress them by using their name.

Cultures:  Be cognizant of others business cultures and try to learn different business culture practices, this way you won't accidentally offend someone and you might just impress some!

Be the networking catalyst: Show your networking skills by being the person to introduce people to others, even if you have just met them.  Give a few lines of information about what you have just learned about the person and share it with the new person who has joined your circle of conversation.

Connect: The goal is to connect with a few key contacts and to develop the connection into a business relationship  and not about how many business cards you can collect during the event.  If you feel that you have connected with someone, put that person's card in your wallet and make sure to follow up with that person immediately.  I usually connect with at least 2 people at an event and keep in contact with them.  We want to connect with as many as possible, but with the time constraints, it is sometimes hard to, so when you do connect with someone, make it worthwhile.

Follow up:  Collecting all those business cards and chatting it up is useless unless you actively follow up with the people you talked with and have connected.  Take notes of your discussion with the person behind their card (not while they are there with you), and send an email or better yet, give them a call.  Don't let time pass too long and if 72 hours has passed after the event, you will be long forgotten by then.

You spend lots of money attending networking events and some events might even be as high as $7000!  Make the most of your time and money spent by innovating the way you network during these events.

Audiobook Review: Think Big & Kick Ass

Last month I selected the audiobook, "Think Big & Kick Ass" by Donald Trump and Bill Zanker.  I listened to this audiobook as I was driving in traffic and during my commutes and I give this audiobook a solid 5 out of 5 stars!

I really enjoyed listening to the advice given by Mr. Trump and the topics were very thought provoking and gave me motivation as I applied them to my life.  The tips given in this audiobook can be applied to anything you are doing, whether you are in business, work for someone and even use it in your life to go for your dreams and think big. 

This audiobook served more as a motivational catalyst to have more confidence in yourself and your dreams and if you are to dream, you might as well dream big and go for what you want to accomplish in life.  The real life stories were really interesting to listen to as well and kept things upbeat.  I think I will listen to this audiobook again due to the volume of wisdom and depth of advice given.

My only complaint is the confusion of who is speaking, since Bill Zanker did the reading but it went between his thoughts and Donald Trumps so I had got lost a couple of time wondering whos experience it was and whos ideas was being presented.  Other than that I highly recommend you get yourself a copy and be prepared to be inspired and motivated.

To learn more about this audiobook: Think BIG and Kick Ass in Business and Life CD